I miss the familiar!

This past weekend, I spent 3 days in Clan William. We were all in the high desert of South Africa. It was absolutely gorgeous. Acres and Acres of land, rivers, water falls, creeks, mountains, and caves covered in ancient rock art. It was absolutely wonderful to be able to experience Clan William. We stayed on an Afrikanner farm and lived in old slave quarters. It was a surreal experience. There was thousand and thousands of years of history in Clan William. We cooked over a fire, I napped next to a stream, climbed mountains, and scaled rocks. It was so relaxing to be apart of nature. In a sense, I really felt alive. I really have a desire to be more adventurous when i get back to the states.

For the past 8 days I have been in Africa, I have been studying the history of the country. We have been focusing on Religion, Violence and Conflict. We have been learning about the Apartheid system, the history of the Dutch Reformed church, and the injustice and the violence against the Africans in South Africa. By learning their history, I can begin to get a taste of their culture. On top of that, I can begin to see where South Africa has been and where the new South Africa intends to go.

Yesterday I was dropped in Langa, the oldest black township in Capetown. I am staying with a family in the township. My mama's name is Vuyiswa (or Pat in English, but she just tells me to call her mama). My mama has 3 children. A set of twins Thando (Thando means Love, particularly Jesus's love) and Thandile (We like him; we liked Jesus). She also has the cutest baby girl named Bathandwa (which means Congregation) They are an amazing family. They are so loving and warm and I am so excited to live with them. I am staying with 3 different families while I am here in Capetown. In my next blog, I will do my best to fill you guys in on the family and my stay in Langa.

Today, I am wet and cold and exhausted. It is winter here in Capetown and I am sooo cold! I took a train to the city today and got caught in a thunder storm! My shoes, clothes and everything got soaked. I kinda wanted to cry, but I didn't :)

Last night, I did not really sleep much. I tossed and I turned. I had a lot to pray about actually! In addition to that, my bedroom sits right across the street from a train station. The trains run 24 hours and I am a super light sleeper. To be honest, I am beginning to miss the familiar a bit. I I guess I am a little home sick and I feel awful admitting it. I definitely do not want to come home though, I am just having trouble getting used to things here. I do miss the schedules, I miss the idea that I know what each day brings. Back in the states, Monday I do this, Tuesday I do that, Thursday is FCA. What I used to loath, I desire. Here in South Africa, I have to really go with the flow. The weather dictates a lot and I do not have a set schedule. I feel a bit out of control.

The idea that I am missing the familiar makes me very angry. I figured that I would adjust quicker. I miss showers( I have been washing in a bucket of water. Since they do not have hot water, you have to boil water in order to bathe.), flat irons, mirrors, down comforters, heaters, Trader Joes, mexican food and personal space. I am beginning to see that I am very privileged and I feel guilty for that. I am so spoiled in the US. I often joke that I am a "poor college student," but to family I am staying with I am literally a millionaire. I was ashamed and embarrassed by the amount of luggage and personal possessions I have; my suitcases filled up their living room and I only brought one hiking backpack and a duffle bag.

In addition to that, I am upset with how narcissistic I am or have become. In the house I am living in, they do not have mirrors or a sink in the bath room( at least I have indoor plumbing, unlike my next house I will be staying in). I felt lost with out a mirror, that says a lot about my priorities. It seems to me that I allow my beauty to define me. Why does my inability to use a flat iron or mascara make me feel lost or not like myself. I never thought that my stuff or my possessions defined me, but I am beginning to see how much I take for granted. My warm showers in the morning, my jetta, my queen size bed, my heated condo. Wow, the Lord is really humbling me today. I have so much to learn about myself. Thank God for this experience.

Well, I better go.. I gotta catch a train back home and its getting late. Its not to safe to head back after dark. Miss you guys!

Ashlei